Oh hai,

Things have been too quiet around these parts so i figure it’s time for a mini update.

Astrid is almost 11 months old (i know i know, its friggin crazy.. and i still haven’t taken her 10 month photo!). Our little holiday last week was really nice, and a perfect amount of time away. It feels good to be home now, except we’ve been so busy with sick kids. We went to the aquarium on Saturday and Tokie caught a little mini-bug and had a fever on Monday. Then on Tuesday night Astrid had the most terrible sleep ever, about 1 hour of broken sleep, i’m not even kidding. No fever though, we didn’t know what was up. Lewis took her for a drive early in the morning so that i could get some sleep. That day i went to visit my friend in the morning and Astrid was still really out of sorts. Lewis had done the nappy change that morning so i was ridiculously shocked to see the worst rash in the history of rashes on her butt when i changed her at my friends house. She’s been battling a rash for a couple of months now but this was something else, and it just sprung up in a matter of hours. Pimples and open weeping sores, omg it was horrible. She’s never had anything like this before. She developed a fever after this, and i figured it was from Tokie’s sickness. Anyway, this morning she still had a fever and was just laying on me sleeping and grumping and i started to get really worried. Dr google didn’t really help the situation as i started googling eczema and open sores. We rushed in to the hospital because i was terrified she had an infection. She’s been diagnosed with eczema and we got some cream which im hoping will improve things. No infection thank fuck. 

Her cheeks have been bright red for months as well as her bottom but i just put it down the teething and dry cold weather. Even the doctor seemed to think that was it. I worried about food intolerances and i quit feeding her any sort of dairy and got her out of cloth nappies and she was going great! Her rash had begun to heal and her cheeks were no longer red. Then as soon as i put her in one cloth nappy just this last Monday she totally flared up again and now has a terrible case of eczema!

I don’t really know what it is that is giving her all these symptoms. She had a runny nose for almost 8 weeks until i quit dairy. I really thought that was the culprit but now she’s had a massive flare up again, i just don’t know.

This afternoon she perked up a lot and was walking around and playing and giggling which was sweet relief. No more fever either. Why can’t there just be a button you can press which tells you what’s going on with your baby. I’m going to start a food diary and really get to the bottom of this. 

Just booked 4 nights in Noosa, QLD, as a little family holiday. MUCH EXCITEMENT.

I feel like this is relevant.

Today I got my first period post partum.

Astrid is also 10 months old today.

How’s that for timing.

I’m annoyed but also relieved. Hopefully this will mean my libido and lack of passion will improve due to hormones changing. It’s odd to feel activity going on in my uterus after so long. I had terrible cramps for days last week so I assumed it was coming.

Anonymous:
You are very beautiful and I'm not just speaking about your physical self. I sort of imagine you as a fairy every time I think of you and it warms my heart up like someone set a fire underneath it.

That is the sweetest compliment I have ever received. Thanks for being so lovely

I finished my 8 week mutu focus course. Here’s my before and after. Although it’s not a massive obvious change, I feel so much stronger in my core and motivated to continue being active. I’d love to continue working on strengthening my abdominal muscles.. Just have to figure out where to go from here. I’m beginning to consider yoga, as every one I know that does yoga is so strong and lean. Any tips on where to start? finallyfindingmybalance

I’ve also been getting more and more motivated by my fitbit and easily starting to reach my goal of 10 000 steps a day.

Timestamp: 1405726200

I finished my 8 week mutu focus course. Here’s my before and after. Although it’s not a massive obvious change, I feel so much stronger in my core and motivated to continue being active. I’d love to continue working on strengthening my abdominal muscles.. Just have to figure out where to go from here. I’m beginning to consider yoga, as every one I know that does yoga is so strong and lean. Any tips on where to start? finallyfindingmybalance

I’ve also been getting more and more motivated by my fitbit and easily starting to reach my goal of 10 000 steps a day.

Anonymous:
How do you know when a relationship is worth fighting for? My partner and I are having some communication/trust issues and the past few weeks he's pulled away to the point of him not coming to see our son. And if i ask him I'm "nagging" him. We hardly ever talk now and it's bothering me :(

This exact question has been a theme for me this entire year.. i hope i can give you some insight!

I think it depends on how long the issues have been going on for and what you guys have tried to do to heal things. Are you able to speak together about the issues at all? Are you living separately?

Lewis and I had a couple of sessions with a relationship counsellor and doing that really gave me clarity on the situation. The main thing that helped me was, we were asked to think about our non-negotiables in a relationship. What are the things that you *must* have in a relationship, and what are the things you personally can’t live with in a relationship. Talk about those and find out if your partner is capable of giving you what you truely need, and if he’s willing to work with you through it.

Negotiating with lewis about an appropriate time to wait before he starts sleeping with other people. Fuck this. This is going to be a confusing and heartbreaking time. The difference with us is that I’m a breastfeeding mum, still suffering from low libido. I have absolutely no desire to pursue or be with anyone, and even if I did, I have no time whatsoever to get to know someone. Let alone sleep with them in the house that im raising my children in.

I don’t know how to deal with these emotions. It’s a horrible feeling that I want to escape from. I feel like this is unfair. He can go off, his body completely unchanged from the last 4 years of parenting, feel no attachment to me whatsoever and use his free time to hang out with other girls.

I really don’t want this to get messy and I need to find a way to cope, or to just stop thinking about this all together.

This might explain my lack of posting recently. We’re definitely over, no doubts about it.

I’m feeling strangely positive and excited for the future. I’m looking forward to finding someone who meshes with me better. My kids are my main priority though. I’m going to have a whole lot less free time, but I hope to still be able to tumblr.

Timestamp: 1404769749

This might explain my lack of posting recently. We’re definitely over, no doubts about it.

I’m feeling strangely positive and excited for the future. I’m looking forward to finding someone who meshes with me better. My kids are my main priority though. I’m going to have a whole lot less free time, but I hope to still be able to tumblr.

Some nights I eat a whole block of chocolate in one sitting.

Tonight is one of those nights.